Notes

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I have never felt more love
than now
when there is no one I can give it to

under a tree near a playground
I am looking for an autumn shade of you
by playing hide and seek with myself

I made a mistake
of wanting to love again
for what only you could give me

you flowed into
a different sky
but the same closeness

there comes a time
when ghosts stand still for longer
than it takes to get scared

your absence walks quietly
leaving burning candles behind
the dawn finds it extinguished in my arms

shades of white crawling toward a window
a pleasant view kept in a fishbowl nearby
you let my face pour into your hands
and hold it with what is left to remember

after a weary journey
you crushed your wings against the night
not to rest but to love again

you wander through my mind
as the sun planting flowers
for my tears to become rain

the traces you left in my heart
are still a pathway
to yours

your love is the kind of love
that would build a stairway to heaven
and invite the angels to come down

after waiting so long
all that is left
is to wait forever

at least your absence
is a presence
I can always have

before falling asleep, I think of you
like a fall would make itself soft
for a weary ground

we gave ourselves up to each other
like the morning dew
to the sun

there are places inside us
a touch we yearned for
taught how to hurt

I miss you
as gently as I breathe the air
that could be you

can we hold hands made of yesterdays
sway like trees in the wind and leave happy
when our leaves fall asleep on the ground

for only a few things
like fallen angels and early springs
your scars will shoulder the moonshine

you hide behind clouds
like a prey for a hunter
memories pass by and call you the Sun

there can be as much loneliness
as there are stars I haven't yet named
after you

it started as a drop
leftovers from the making of a flower
a dream where I could be with you

would your sunrise bloom closer
if my sunset withered
farther away

have you ever wondered
about the weight
a scent of a touch can give to love

I want to take all your pain
fill my heart with it
and love with its love

a broken heart
is how love
is set free

I remember the smile
a rainbow undressing across a promise you left
for the ever returning rain

love will soothe your thirst
by turning a desert into an ocean
then let you drown in it for one last breath

hide your glass shoe in high grass
breathe across it like a journey's womb
giving birth to the passing of time

wherever you could now be
with your beautiful self
I still feel it here

it's the silence
like a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean
that makes your absence so loud

loneliness doesn't come
from your absence in my life
but your presence in my heart

I imagine
how I saw you for the first time
and bloomed

there's a giant sleeping in your heart
dressed in colors of the night
lost enough to dream in stars

your favorite ice cream flavor
on the first day of spring melting warm
is what happiness feels like

a fragment of my daily routine
falls into bottomless nothing
all butterflies you catch with a thought of me

the air I breathe
the kite you fly
together, apart

you had a dream
in which all I had
was you

when you smile
I know I am not the reason
without you knowing that I smile with you

I look at the clouds
it feels like forever
since I've never kissed you

I know you feel it
and it wanders like rain
until soothed with dry soil

I don't pretend you are mine
but every morning
I wake up from that dream

I still keep that same wish
worn out from gazing
at the shooting stars

you went far away
only the stars know
the way back

you own me with your absence
oceans sink into my heart
and still it is empty

you are but a tear stain
on a paper boat wreck
yet still enough to make memories